The Deciding Race
by bobthetree123
Summary: Just an amusing running race between Jack, Will, Elizabeth, Norrington, Jones and Barbossa to decide who is the faster pirate. Sort of a sequel to "The Legendary Dinghy"


Just an idea I've had written down for months but never got around to do. I advise reading The Legendary Dinghy before reading this, but it doesn't really matter if you don't.

Enjoy :)

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3 months after their first dinghy race and they were back in the same room, arguing as usual. Will and Elizabeth were standing beside each other, with both Jack and Norrington watching them with narrowed eyes.

Barbossa sidled over to Jack as Jones was inspecting an ornament on the wall - a crab claw. Barbossa leaned until his mouth was right beside Jack's ear.

"You know I'm right."

Jack jumped, startled at the sudden voice. He turned to Barbossa. "Mate, you gotta warn people before you do that. Otherwise it's just...creepy." Jack shuddered and stroked his beard, eyeing Barbossa's scraggly one at the same time as though hinting it needed a trim. His eyes narrowed suddenly. "What's right?"

"I'm a better pirate then you."

Jack laughed so loudly and suddenly that every man, woman and monster in the room turned to look at him. "You?" he managed, doubled over with laughter. Barbossa glared at him while he stood straight again. "That's impossible," he said after he had calmed down enough.

Barbossa rolled his eyes. "Why?" he asked.

By this time the others had listened in and figured out what was going on. Will pushed himself away from Elizabeth and strode over to them. "Should we really start this again? Last time it ended in a foolish dinghy race-"

"Which _proved_," Jack interjected, "that _I_ am the most legendary pirate."

"You cheated," Barbossa spat.

"Hey, they were your rules, mate. Don't blame me just 'cause you're a sore loser."

Now Norrington was getting annoyed. "Look, is there any way to settle this once and for all?"

"Will there ever be?" Elizabeth asked from behind. "There will never be a clear winner if it's between those two, not as long as they're alive."

"I can change that," Jones added, limping over to the pair.

Jack was now fired up. "You could never be a better pirate. You know why?" he asked Barbossa, his weathered face right in front of his former first mates'. "You're too old."

Barbossa glared at him. "I am not," he defended.

"Yeah you are, mate. You're old enough to be me grandfather."

"That's not true!" Barbossa spat, searing Jack down with his eyes.

Jack could tell he was overruling the older pirate. "I'm faster."

"If that's true," Barbossa said, spotting a chance, "then why have you never beaten me in a fight?"

"Well-" Jack tried to answer that, but he had no reason. "I..I let you win."

"You did not," Barbossa scoffed.

"Yes I did! I was trying to be nice."

"Jack," Norrington interrupted, "I don't believe you quite understand the meaning of 'nice'. Not in my past, anyway."

Jack ignored him. "Are you challenging me to a fight? 'Cause that's really not a smart idea, mate. You could hurt yourself, what with your old brittle bones and all."

Barbossa looked about ready to knock Jack out cold. "No!" he stated. "That's too boring."

Jack spread his arms wide and faced the rest of the group. "Any ideas?"

"You could run?" Elizabeth suggested. At once, Jones, Norrington and Will burst into laughter. "What's so funny?" Elizabeth asked, confused.

"Jack..running..." Will panted. "That's a funny sight in and of itself!"

"Shut up," Jack shot at him. "Barbossa couldn't keep up with me. He's too old."

"You're wrong," Barbossa disagreed.

"It's settled then," Will announced. "Jack, Barbossa, you will run out on the island. The fastest pirate is, well, the fastest pirate." Will was sure this race wouldn't prove anything, and the loser would accuse the other of cheating, but it would be amusing to watch.

"What, we don't get to join?" Norrington asked.

"Do you really want to, mate? I mean.." Jack scoffed, and took a long glance up and down Norrington, pristine in his immaculate uniform. "You might dirty your little costume there. And that wig probably won't stay that neat." Norrington glared deeply at him.

"What about you, love? You up to it?" he asked, turning to Elizabeth. She didn't fancy being shot down by these men, but nor did she fancy sitting on the sidelines watching. "Sure, why not?"

"And me?" Jones asked. Jack laughed. "Mate, you can barely walk with that leg. But, you're call."

Jones grinned, and made Jack feel uncomfortable. He made a mental note to watch out for him during the race - he couldn't run well, but he was a pirate. Who knows what he would do.

They sidled out to the beach, searching for the most flat and dense sand on the shore. They found a spot, and watched as Jack jumped repeatedly on the sand do test its strength.

"Seems alright," he shrugged, dusting sand off his boot.

They prepared themselves for the race. It was agreed all contestants were barefoot. A line of leather boots were formed against the grass, some worn, others polished until the blue sky reflected off them.

Jack threw off his hat, jacket, and vest. He stood there proudly in his billowing white shirt and his tattered pants. He turned to Elizabeth who was removing the same. Jack then took off his shirt, and once again turned to her.

"You gotta do the same, love," he grinned. She stared at him and turned away, running towards Will who stood on the sidelines. He laughed and then turned around to see Norringon - wearing loose white pants, and white stocking. Jack raised his eyebrows, and Norrington quickly removed them. He also had a removed shirt.

"Oi, mate, not a great sight there," Jack hinted, nodding towards his chest.

"Oh, and yours is?"

"Yes," he said, hugging his body, Norrington rolled his eyes.

Barbossa stood a few men down, his shirt still attached, his pants faded and worn. His enormous hat had been removed, and a green bandanna glinted in the sunlight.

Jones was the last ready, his leg sinking into the soft sand. He had removed nothing, including his hat, and was watching them all intently.

"Oi!" Will called, and they all turned to him. "No weapons."

There was an enormous fuss made as that statement was announced. "This is a fair race! No cheating!" Everyone groaned as they threw their weapons on the ground beside their boots. Everyone now felt vulnerable, and knew they had even less of a chance of winning.

"Alright, the first to reach that line of palm trees," he pointed, "and back is claimed the fastest pirate." He shot his pistol in the air, and the race was on.

The first thing accomplished was Jack taking out Jones. The pirate ran over to the sea monster and pushed down on his shoulders, sinking him into the dirt. It made him fall behind, but it took out an opponent. Jones growled as he tried to keep walking, but his wooden leg was stuck in the sand. He glared at Will as he laughed.

Jack quickly tried to catch up. Barbossa saw him and did what he could to flick sand into Jack's face. Jack began to run with his arms failing in front of him, trying to shield himself from the incoming sand. Jack dived, and managed to wrap his arms around Barbossa's legs, bringing him crashing into the sand. Jack jumped up again, and sprayed dirt into Barbossa's face as he cursed.

Norrington was just ahead of Elizabeth, and they were near the palm trees. They seemed to have no intention of playing foul, and so Jack thought he would do the honours for them. As they reached the palm trees, Jack ran across the sand so he was running straight towards Norrington. Jack smashed into the Commodore, sending him flying backwards. Jack scrambled up again, happy he had now taken out almost every opponent. Now he just had to run to beat Elizabeth.

As he ran around the palm tree, he saw Barbossa steadying himself and running towards him. Jack swerved, but so did the other pirate. As they neared each other, Barbossa brought his fist around to punch Jack square in the face, but Jack ducked. "Sorry, mate!" Jack called behind him.

He ran with all his might, his arms flailing wildly beside him and his legs lifting high. He glanced behind him and noticed that the closest person was Barbossa, and he was a long way behind. Staring in front of him, he could see Elizabeth almost near the finish. He was determined to beat her, and put forth a spur of energy. He was now almost beside her. He threw his leg out and sent her toppling to the ground. He did a small victory dance, but it was short lived as Elizabeth reached out and grabbed him around the ankles, with his face ending in the sand. He kicked himself up, but Elizabeth was already in front. She passed the line before him, and was laughing at him as he stumbled to the finish.

"You cheated!" he accused.

"So did you!" she shot back at him.

"This was between me and Barbossa, anyways," he said, shrugging it off.

He turned and waited for the said pirate to finish. "Took your time!" he said, rolling his eyes.

"That wasn't fair. You cheated. That race was supposed to determine the fastest."

"Which clearly wouldn't have been you anyway. Just face it, mate. You're old" Jack said, nodding as though disappointed.

"Where's James?" Elizabeth asked suddenly. They all turned towards the track, and could see a figure lying motionless on the ground.

"Must have hit a tree," Jack concluded, shrugging.

He turned and saw Jones still embedded in the sand. "Having some trouble, mate?"

"You'll regret that, Jack Sparrow."

"Mmm, I'm sure I will," he asked, unconcerned. "Well, I believe we all learned a valuable lesson today!"

"That women outrun men?" Elizabeth asked.

"No. That I'm better than Barbossa."

Elisabeth stormed away as the two pirates began to argue once more.

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